How can you connect this new skill to the student’s priorities? How can you assure ownership by making the development of this skill the student’s goal rather than just your goal for the student?
As with nearly all skills, if the student does not see the value in issuing praise or compliments to his peers, it will be very difficult to build this skill to a level of independence and authenticity. The student may never see the value in complimenting someone on their attire, or their material possessions. Yet perhaps you can help this student see how praise (which might be equated with some expression of gratitude –“you did a good job, thanks for your help”) towards co-workers and supervisors can be necessary in the workplace and in post-secondary settings.
As you introduce this skill, how will you incorporate (visually, thematically) the student’s unique interests?
If the student spends a lot of time playing video games, consider how many of those games deliver some form of visual or auditory praise when the player does something well (e.g. “Direct hit!” “Nice moves”). You might be able to help the student understand the rationale behind this skill by illustrating how the video game feedback makes the student feel.
Can you make it visually clear to the student who is resistant to change that his assumption is only one way of looking at things? Can your use of visual supports and self-assessments help get agreement that there is a problem, get agreement on the solution, and create the motivation for change?
If the student issues compliments and praise too frequently (perhaps
in effort to make friends), consider using a social narrative
(situational story, thought story, or coping comic) to help the student
understand how others might perceive this overly-eager behavior. Video
scenarios, paired with your clear narration, can also help to shift the
student’s perspective.
Consider using social narratives as well
as live role-play and video scenarios with the student who issues
compliments that tend to be delivered in an awkward manner, in a way
that makes the recipient feel uncomfortable (e.g. leaving notes
praising an uninterested girl for her beauty), or in a way that the
recipient would perceive as insulting (e.g. “Your roots were really showing, but your hair looks much better now”).
"Social Communication – Basic Skills 3"
Interspersal is a proven technique involving the presentation of familiar, higher success tasks with the new, more challenging task. When it is appropriate, are you varying the activities to maintain the student’s confidence and focus?
Let’s say the student feels very uncomfortable issuing praise or compliments in face-to-face contexts, yet he is more inclined to issue praise online (e.g. on Facebook, clicking the “like” button, or writing a quick comment such as “awesome” in response to someone else’s post). Consider how you might intersperse opportunities to display these less challenging social communication behaviors as you engage the student in practicing the more challenging face-to-face interactions.
How do you orient the student to upcoming situations where he might need to express gratitude, compliments, or praise (e.g. group work activities, after-school events, tutoring sessions, dates)?