Provide a basic definition of “friendship” = a relationship occurring outside of work between people who share personal interests, discuss personal issues, and enjoy engaging in shared activities at home, in the community, on-line, and other informal settings.

Provide a basic definition of “co-worker” = a relationship occurring within the work environment (at work or at locations pertaining to work) between people who cooperate to meet the needs of the employer, engage to accomplish job-related tasks, and who limit engaging in personal interests, discussing personal issues or engaging in any discussions that interfere with work performance.

Create a framework for interacting with co-workers on the job:

1. Identify topics of conversation (see topics such as Asking and Divulging Personal Information, Going with the Flow in Conversations)
2. Times to talk (see such topics as Work Breaks)
3. Limits in personal interaction (see such topics as Asking and Divulging Personal Interaction, Maintaining Personal Space, and Managing Romantic Interests in the Workplace)

Create the framework for initiating an invitation to a co-worker to a social/shared activity:

1. When is it appropriate?  Sometimes, co-workers may find that they share personal interests after working together for some time; perhaps through break-room and lunch conversations or interactions going to and from work. 
   • You know the co-worker’s name, and s/he knows your name.
   • You have been with the co-worker at lunch or at break at least 4 times and BOTH have talked about your interests and he has talked about his.
   • You can identify the interests of the co-worker and have found at least one area of mutual interest.
   • If you answer “yes” to the above statements, then you may choose to approach the co-worker to request engaging in a shared activity NOT during work hours while you and/or the co-worker are engaged in job-related tasks.
     
     
2. Where is it appropriate?
   • In a designated break area (break room, cafeteria, outdoor smoking area, etc.)
   • Before or after work, on the way in or out of the work place
   • NOT in a designated work area (your desk, co-worker’s desk, conference/meeting room, etc.)
     
     
3. How to initiate a request?  In person, by phone, by email, by text message, online social media message:
   • Know what to say - Use scripts, reminder cards, or other visual cues as necessary  
     Make one offer: (Ask the person once by email, phone, or face to face; Send one   friend request on Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn, etc.)
   • If the person does not respond, do not make another request.
   • If he declines but suggests another option, accept or make another suggestion for   how you can engage in a common interest.
     
     If he declines the offer:
     • You may ask once more for another activity. If he declines the second offer, stop asking this co-worker: he is not interested.
       
       
     If he accepts the offer:
     • Go to the activity.
     • Do not post more than one comment on his wall, page, or photos.  Wait for him to post on your wall or page before you post on his again.
     • Do not send more than one message or chat invitation.  If he does not respond, do not send another message or chat invitation.
     • Then, it is the co-worker’s turn to invite you for the next activity.  You should not initiate with the co-worker twice in a row.  Like a conversation or a game of catch, inviting co-workers to social activities require “back-and-forth” for each person to take turns initiating and responding to an invitation.

Create the framework for responding to a request from a co-worker to a social activity:

1. If you want to accept:

• Thank him for the offer
• Get the details (what, when, where)
• Add the details to your planner/schedule
• Go to the activity
• Then, it is your turn to invite the co-worker for the next activity (if you choose).
• If you want to suggest a different option, do not criticize the person’s request when you make a suggestion.

2. If you want to decline the offer:

• Thank him for the offer (A simple, short statement is best (e.g. “I appreciate the offer, but no thanks.”)
• Do not criticize the person’s request
• Declining an offer politely is not rude and does not mean the person will not like working with you.
• Do not send a message explaining why you declined the request.

3. If you accept a request Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn, etc.:

• Do not post more than one comment on his wall, page, or photos.  Wait for him to post on your wall or page before you post on his again.
• Do not send more than one message or chat invitation.  If he does not respond, do not send another message or chat invitation.

Practice & label the appropriate behavior through narrative scenarios, observing role-plays, practicing role-plays and reviewing video models:

1. Identifying when to invite a co-worker to a social activity.

2. Identifying where it is appropriate to approach the co-worker.

3.  How to initiate or respond to a request in person.

• What to do if he accepts.
• What to do if he declines or suggests another option.
• What to do if you accept.
• What to do if you decline.

4.   How to initiate or respond to a request by phone, email, or text message.

• What to do if he accepts.
• What to do if he declines or suggests another option.
• What to do if you accept.
• What to do if you decline.

5.  How to initiate with or respond to the person on Facebook, Google +, LinkedIn, etc.

• What to do if the person ignores a friend request.
• What to do if the person accepts a request (number of comments that are appropriate; number of messages or chat invitations that are appropriate).
• What to do if you accept a request.
• What to do if you decline a request.

What sub-skill should you target first for the student to initiate? Given what the student can do presently, how will you present the task so that the student can perform steps within his capacity while learning a new step? 

Generally, the student will need some working definition of ‘friend’ that he can use. Differentiating this from the role of a co-worker will be an initial focus in training. Building the framework (and rules) for interaction with co-workers on the job naturally follows this differentiation. If these three elements are relatively clear in the student’s mind and he demonstrates knowledge of those concepts in practice, then create a framework with the student that will be used in labeling and practice strategies for either initiating or responding to invitations should be addressed.

Practice only one element at a time of either initiating or responding. In other words, provide repeated practice in initiating where the partner accepts. Then you provide repeated practice in initiating where the partner declines. How will you build the broad skill set?