How can you break this skill down in teachable steps?
First and foremost, it needs to be made very clear to the student who may be the victim of bullying that it is not his fault.
Next, identify and teach a consistent response plan to bullying that you can depict in visual form (e.g. script, instructions, visual reminder cue). Arrange multiple opportunities to practice this response plan across increasingly novel conditions. You might teach a response plan that answers the “3 W’s”:
The first step in this plan may differ depending on whether the interaction is face to face, by phone, or in cyberspace.
The second step in this plan might also differ depending on the location. If bullying happens at school or in the workplace, where is the identified “safe place” to go? If bullying happens in cyberspace, the “safe place” to go is away from that website. If bullying happens by phone or text, the “safe place” to go is off of the phone with that person.
The third step in the response plan is absolutely crucial. It is vital to work with the student to identify the trusted adult(s) who he can tell. This person can also help the student determine what to do next, and this person can help the student take action (e.g. go to the supervisor, go to an administrator) or can take action on the student’s behalf in some cases. Asking for help is a major challenge for many individuals. The instructor must teach and reinforce a communication method that the individual can initiate. Depending on the student, it may be easier for the student to describe what is happening by writing it down or drawing it, or perhaps he will use a visual cue to signal distress, when verbalizing the problem is not a method that the student will readily initiate. (see “Asking for Help” for more information)
In addition to developing a 3W’s plan, visually depicting the plan, and rehearsing a response plan, it is important to target strategies that the individual can use to cope with bullying (in the moment and afterwards). Self-Regulating Anxiety and Self-Regulating Anger are a part of the process of responding to and coping with bullying. Bullying will make anyone very angry and upset; this is a natural response to a traumatizing experience. Yet the student must employ strategies to manage his anger and anxiety, so that he does not respond in a way that gets him into trouble. Help the student to understand that in many cases, the bully WANTS him to react in a very angry or upset way. It makes the bully feel powerful when this happens. So one goal must be to not give the bully exactly what the bully wants.
The student also needs these coping strategies in order to deal with the sadness or shame he might experience as a result of bullying. Repeatedly practice these coping strategies when the student is calm, and make them a part of the student’s routine, so that he is more likely to use them when major stressors arise. (see “Self-Identify Anxiety” and “Self-Identify Anger and Frustration” for more information)
What sub-skill should you target first for the student to initiate? Given what the student can do presently, how will you present the task so that the student can perform steps within his capacity while learning a new step?
For some students, it may be appropriate for you to break down and rehearse Step 1 of the 3W’s plan as follows:
What to say and do:
For many students, it may be appropriate for you to break down Step 1 as follows:
For cyberspace interactions, it may be appropriate for you to break down Step 1 as follows: