Making Friends - Asking Co-Workers to Get Together

If you are asking someone of the opposite sex to get together with you, they may interpret this as if you are asking them on a date. It is OK to be friends with people of the opposite sex, but you need to handle this very carefully. 

Click here for more information about dating co-workers.

Ask the person (or people) during a convenient time, such as:

• Before work starts (Perhaps walking into work together or while getting settled before work starts).
• During a break (This includes a lunch break).
• After work (Perhaps walking out of the work place together or while getting ready to leave the work place).

There are many ways of asking someone to do something with you.  Here are some ideas:

• "Maybe we could get together sometime?"
• "How about going to a movie/sporting event/other activity sometime?"
• "Want to grab a bite to eat?"
• "How about hanging out sometime?"
• "Do you want to do something sometime?"
• "Would you want to go walking or running together this weekend?"
• "How about getting dinner after work sometime?"

Before you call someone, you will have to get their telephone number by asking them for it in person.  You might ask them for their number while you are chatting before work starts, during a break, or after work as you are leaving.  Usually, it is best to ask for someone’s number during a social conversation with them.  It might be awkward if you just walk up to them and ask for their number.  Here are a few ways to ask for someone’s number:

• "Hey, can I get your number so we can hang out sometime?"
• "Would you mind if I got your telephone number?"
• "What’s your number?  Maybe can could get together sometime."

If you are not used to calling people to ask if they would like to do something with you, practice the scenario beforehand.   Write down what you plan to say. Rehearse the conversation with someone beforehand.  It is important to practice  what you might say so that you don’t sound awkward on the phone. 

If the person says YES, meaning that they would like to hang out with you, then discuss:

• What activity you are going to do.
• Where you will do it.
• What day you will do it
• What time you will do it.
• Remember to be flexible –consider the other person’s schedule and interests.

If the person says NO, stop there. Say something casual such as:

• "OK, well, I’ll see you at work tomorrow."
• "I understand. Maybe some other time."
• "All right. I hope you have a good night!"

Be sure to stay upbeat, even if you are disappointed. Click here for more information on calling etiquette.

You can also email or text someone to ask if they would like to hang out with you.  If you choose to email, it may help to have someone review your email before you send it.  Because you are asking someone to hang out with you, you do not need to be formal or business-like. Instead, your email should be short, casual, and upbeat.

Here are 2 examples of what to write in an email:

When you want to ask someone to get together, be sure to: Decide who you would like to ask. Have an activity in mind before you ask.  This activity should something that might be fun for you AND the other person. Plan and practice what you will say and how you will say it ahead of time.

Texting is a way of typing and sending a quick note to someone using your cellular phone.  Texting is an even more casual form of communication than calling or emailing.

Your text should be short: 1 or 2 sentences is typical.  It is probably best to text someone to ask them to get together only if you have already gotten together with the person before, or you have talked about possibly getting together.  Here are different examples of texts to ask someone to hang out with you:

• "Want 2 grab dinner tomorrow?"
• "RU free on Wednesday for lunch?"
• "Do you want to go for a run?"
• "I am going to the basketball game. Do U want to come?"
• "Do you want to see the 7pm movie 2night?"
• "What are you up to this weekend?"

Read more about emailing and texting etiquette.