Sometimes it is hard to figure out the rules of asking someone to get together with you. How persistent should you be?  When do you give up?  Here are some guidelines to help you with those decisions.

• You should only ask someone to get together if you have had at least 3 casual, friendly conversations ("chit chat" or small talk) with them at work already.  Otherwise, it might be too soon to ask someone to hang out—that might make them feel uncomfortable because they don’t know you at all.

• Do not ask someone to get together with you more than once a week. Even if they say yes and you get together, do not ask them to get together again until a week has passed.  Getting together with someone once per week is enough.
  
  Exception to the rule: If the other person asks you to get together again before a week has passed, that is fine.

• If someone does not return your call or text, or reply to your email, wait one week before contacting them again. 

• Do not call, text, or email the person more than twice if they do not respond.

• Do not leave more than 2 messages on someone’s voicemail.

• If someone says no to you twice, STOP asking them to do something. This probably means they are not interested, but are too polite to tell you directly.  Even if the person says "Maybe another time," or "I would like to, but I am busy," stop asking after two attempts.  These are excuses, and they are probably trying to be polite and not hurt your feelings.  If they are truly interested in hanging out with you, it is their turn to ask you to get together.