Making Friends - Dealing with Disappointment

If someone says no, or doesn’t seem to want to be friends with you, you may feel rejected.  This is not a good feeling- you may feel sad, lonely, depressed, or angry at that person.  These are normal feelings. 

There may also be times when you feel left out.  Maybe it seems like other co-workers are getting together, and you are not invited or included.  This also feels lousy.

• First, know that EVERYONE feels this way at some point.  Everyone feels rejected or left out at some point in their life.  Your feelings are normal, and you are not alone.

• Next, stop asking them to hang out with you.  If they wanted to hang out with you, they will ask you.  Continuing to ask them to hang out could annoy them and make you feel bad.

• Don’t ask them why they have not responded or why they don’t want to hang out with you.  Even though you might want to know the answer to these questions, it will only make them feel uncomfortable and it will probably make you feel bad.

• Think of other places to meet people.  Is there a social group in your area?  How about a club for people with shared interests?  Could you join a gym? There are also online websites where you can learn about local social gatherings. 

• Keep busy with other activities.  If you stay busy, you will feel less lonely.  Here are some ideas for ways to stay busy by yourself:
  
  
  • Read a book or magazine.
  • Go for a walk or run.
  • Go to the gym or exercise.
  • Garden.
  • Clean.
  • Watch TV or a movie.
  • Surf the internet.
  • Go shopping.
  • Run errands.
  • Take a class in something that interests you (i.e. drawing, cooking).
  • Engage in online social networking.

Remember DO NOT use social media to vent about any problems, especially co-worker or work-related ones.  If you want to share your feelings, please find a person you trust, family member, non-work friend, mentor, etc. and talk to them in person or over the phone.