Making Friends - Guidelines for Socializing

If you have successfully arranged to hang out with people from work, that is great!  Here are some guidelines for making your time together as successful as possible.

1. Talk about things that interest BOTH of you.  When having a conversation, make sure that your friend is interested in what you’re saying.  You want your friend to have fun, and by talking about something they like, they will likely have fun.  People only stay friends when they have fun with each other. 
   
   By talking about something they’re not interested in, they won’t have as much fun.  For example, if you are interested in the Revolutionary War, and they are not interested, do not keep talking about it.  Imagine that your friend only wants to talk about a daytime soap opera that you’ve never seen before. Wouldn’t you get bored after a while?
   
   

   When you are hanging out with someone, be sure to: Talk about things that interest BOTH of you. Ask the other person questions. Engage in appropriate conversations; avoid inappropriate topics of conversation. Be positive.

   Here are some clues that your friend is bored:

   • They try changing the subject.
   • You are doing most of the talking.
   • They are not answering you.
   • They are yawning.
   • They are looking away or looking into space.
     
   • They aren’t asking any questions.
   • They sigh.
     
   • They have a bored or irritated facial expression.

   Instead, talk about something BOTH of you are interested in.  You could do this by:

   • Letting them start the conversation.
   • Asking them about their interests.
   
   
2. Ask the other person questions.  Make sure you ask the other person questions about themselves.  If you only talk about yourself, they might get bored or they might think you are self-centered.  Also, you could find out something interesting about that person and learn more about them.
   
   

   Here are some questions you could ask:

   • "What are you doing this weekend?"
   • "What do you like to do for fun?"
   • "What are you doing for ___ (upcoming holiday)?"
   • "What are your hobbies?"
   • "What kind of movies/music/TV shows do you like?"
   • "Where are you from originally?"
   • "How long have you lived in this area?"
   • "Where did you go to school (i.e. college, technical school, high school)?"

   Having a conversation with someone is sort of like playing a game of catch.  Click here for more information on this.

3. Engage in appropriate conversation.  Here are some appropriate conversation topics and ones to avoid. You should avoid these topics because they are either personal, could lead to disagreement, or could insult someone. 
   
   

   Appropriate Conversation:
   Appropriate Conversation Topics Weather Sports Current Events Movies/TV/Celebrities Work projects or topics Holiday or vacation plans A common interest Your educational experiences (e.g. high school, college)	Conversation Topics to Avoid Religion Salary Politics Weight Age Sex Talking negatively about others you work with, including co-workers and supervisors Personal medical / health issues

   There are many more appropriate conversation topics than listed above, but this gives you an idea of "safe" topics (topics that are not offensive). 

   Use the Topics of Conversation at Work worksheet for more practice. 

4. Be positive.  When you’re hanging out with someone, try to be as positive as possible. Avoid being negative because people generally have more fun when the other person is in a good mood and not complaining.